


on the nights like this one

by rossieash



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Baggage, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, or not actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 01:47:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13400877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rossieash/pseuds/rossieash
Summary: Nights on Tatooine are long and lonely.





	on the nights like this one

He was 25, when he first met Anakin. The boy was extraordinarily smart, having built a humanlike robot at the age of 9, and a talented pilot, as he got to know soon after. And most of all: full of hope, innocent, pure and unpolluted by the dark side of the Force. He was their destiny, their future, the Chosen One… and a bit of a stubborn apprentice, too.

Obi-Wan smiles at the thought.

He was 32, when he stopped considering Anakin as a child. His padawan matured right before his eyes, grew stronger and better skilled, as the days kept passing by, and if Obi-Wan ever had any doubts about the prophecy, they would have faded back then, untill disappearing completly. They were connected in the Force stronger than most Jedi, but not like a father and son anymore - like brothers.

And it was perfect, he sighs internally.

He was 35, when their bond seemed unbreakable, their thoughts and feelings blending, moves complementing so that, fighting arm to arm, they could win each and every combat, and nothing was able to stop them. They shared memories and secrets, without a need of hiding a single unsaid word, everything was clear, and just when something unknown, but warm and soft nevertheless began blooming inside Obi-Wan’s chest, Anakin stepped away. The Master couldn’t help, but felt a cold stab of pain, as his, now a grown man, apprentice chose someone else, but the only thing he did, was to bite the inside on his cheek and pretend that nothing happened. He wasn’t supposed to feel, anyway.

The corners of his lips fall downwards.

He was 38, when it all was destroyed. His perfect impression of stability and trust faltering, as Obi-Wan persistently tried to keep standing behind the facade of understatements and pointless hope. He tried. Of course he noticed the darkness crawling at the back of his mind, when he was sensing Anakin’s Force presence, but none of his words reached their destination. Before he saw it coming, he was already standing of the Mustafar’s dry, hot soil, wielding his lightsaber against his dear one. His beloved one. 

_"I loved you."_

A lie. He still does.

_"I hate you!"_

Obi-Wan rapidly wakes up, throat aching, body soaked in sweat, sitting up, he rubs a hand over his eyes, but the tears just keep falling down his cheeks.

He is 42, when he admits to himself, that the nightmares will never stop. He still feels Anakin’s- Darth Vader’s presence sometimes, it’s not the same, as it used to be, of course it’s not, but very rarely, on the nights like this one, Obi-Wan can swear, that he is not there to hurt. He’s hurting, too.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work in English (which is not my native ofc) that is not porn so please be kind and leave comments maybe tell me where I made mistakes pls constructive criticism is v welcome  
> [main blog](https://rossieash.tumblr.com/)  
> [obikin blog](https://obi-sass-kenobi.tumblr.com/)


End file.
